The Gifts of Imperfection
-Brene Brown Ph.D.
Summary: Vulnerability is necessary for real connections. It is the antidote for shame.
A must-read for all perfectionists (or those who used to hate their imperfections like me)
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough. Authenticity demands Wholehearted living and loving—even when it’s hard, even when we’re wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we’re afraid to let ourselves feel it. Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age
Summary: Linear life expectation is dead. Embrace your life quakes and learn to navigate them skillfully.
A must-read for people who are going through a change (basically all of us, at some point!)
"Galvanized by a personal crisis and family emergency, Feiler set out on what became an epic journey to harvest American stories and see what he could learn from them. He crisscrossed the country, collecting hundreds of life stories from a breathtaking range of Americans in all 50 states. He then sifted through and coded these stories, building a massive database of patterns and takeaways that can help all of us live better."
"LIFE IS IN THE TRANSITIONS introduces the fresh, pressing vision of the nonlinear life, in which personal disruptions and life quakes are becoming more plentiful, nontraditional life shapes are becoming the norm, and each of us has the opportunity to write our own story. Drawing on an extraordinary trove of insights, Feiler offers a powerful, new transition toolkit with original strategies for coping with the difficult, painful, or unsettling times of life."
Summary: If you want your kid to talk to you, you must learn to listen, REALLY listen.
A must-read for all parents who wants to stay sane with a toddler & beyond
"Internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish “are doing for parenting today what Dr. Spock did for our generation” (Parent Magazine). Now, this bestselling classic includes fresh insights and suggestions as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships, including innovative ways to:
· Cope with your child's negative feelings, such as frustration, anger, and disappointment
· Express your strong feelings without being hurtful
· Engage your child's willing cooperation
· Set firm limits and maintain goodwill
· Use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline
· Understand the difference between helpful and unhelpful praise
· Resolve family conflicts peacefully"
And Baby Makes Three
-John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman Ph.D.
Summary: It is possible to preserve marital intimacy after baby, by mastering evidence-based connection skills
A must-read for all couples before you have a baby
"Even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. This book shows couples how to avoid the pitfalls of parenthood, with exercises that will separate the “master” from the “disaster” couples and help new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy."
When the body says no
-Gabor Mate M.D.
Summary: Mental Health is Health and it can not be separated from physical health
A must-read for everyone who wants to embrace the interconnection between mind & body
"In this volume, I set out to write about the effects of stress on health, particularly of the hidden stresses we all generate from our early programming, a pattern so deep and so subtle that it feels like a part of our real selves. Although I have presented as much of the available scientific evidence as seemed reasonable in a work for the lay public, the heart of the book—for me, at least—is formed by the individual histories I have been able to share with the readers. It so happens that those histories will also be seen as the least persuasive to those who regard such evidence as “anecdotal.”
Only an intellectual Luddite would deny the enormous benefits that have accrued to humankind from the scrupulous application of scientific methods. But not all essential information can be confirmed in the laboratory or by modern statistical analysis. Not all aspects of illness can be reduced to facts verified by double-blind studies and by the strictest scientific techniques. “Medicine tells us as much about the meaningful performance of healing, suffering, and dying as chemical analysis tells us about the aesthetic value of pottery,” Ivan Ilyich wrote in Limits to Medicine. We confine ourselves to a narrow realm indeed if we exclude from accepted knowledge the contributions of human experience and insight."
You can read the first chapter from here.
Irvin D.Yalom M.D.
Summary: Years of wisdom of a legendary psychotherapist passed to new generation
A must-read for young therapists and everyone who wants to understand what therapy really is.
The culmination of master psychiatrist Dr. Irvin D. Yalom's more than thirty-five years in clinical practice, The Gift of Therapy is a remarkable and essential guidebook that illustrates through real case studies how patients and therapists alike can get the most out of therapy. The bestselling author of Love's Executioner shares his uniquely fresh approach and the valuable insights he has gained—presented as eighty-five personal and provocative "tips for beginner therapists," including:
Let the patient matter to you
Acknowledge your errors
Create a new therapy for each patient
Do home visits
(Almost) never make decisions for the patient
Freud was not always wrong
A book aimed at enriching the therapeutic process for a new generation of patients and counselors, Yalom's Gift of Therapy is an entertaining, informative, and insightful read for anyone with an interest in the subject.
Summary: Therapy room is the place where real change happens, for everyone, including therapists themselves
A must-read for everyone who wants to initiate change & understand how therapy can help
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.
"Ever wonder what your therapist is really thinking? Now you can find out ... Meet Lori Gottlieb, an insightful and compassionate therapist whose clients present with all kinds of problems. There's the struggling new parents; the older woman who feels she has nothing to live for; the self-destructive young alcoholic; and the terminally ill 35-year-old newlywed. And there's John, a narcissistic television producer, who frankly just seems to be a bit of a jerk. Over the course of a year, they all make progress. But Gottlieb is not just a therapist she's also a patient who's on a journey of her own. Interspersed with the stories of her clients are her own therapy sessions, as Gottlieb goes in search of the hidden roots of a devastating and life-changing event. Personal, revealing, funny, and wise, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone opens a rare window onto a world that is most often bound by secrecy, offering an illuminating tour of a profoundly private process."
Summary: We can direct our attention and create conscious awareness of our behavior, practise and learn mindfulness and change our brain structure, therefore our life
A must-read for everyone who wants the neurobiology of change, understand how mindfulness and psyhotheraphy changes brain structure
"Through his synthesis of a broad range of scientific research with applications to everyday life, Dr. Siegel has developed novel approaches that have helped hundreds of patients heal themselves from painful events in the past and liberate themselves from obstacles blocking their happiness in the present. And now he has written the first book that will help all of us understand the potential we have to create our own lives."