At the darkest moment of the night, there comes the light...
While I was writing my previous post, My "lucky" break, I was in a real bad place mentally.
I got my acceptance letter yet I didn't know if I was able to accept or not. I assumed the worst. As always.
I felt defeated. By the system. By life.
While praying for a miracle... (and I am not a religious person)
and preparing the fight back with whatever force or energy is left in me...
I think finally the universe decided to give me an effin break.
Over the weekend, I reached out to a friend who is already a student in the program that I plan to enroll. I told her half-happily + half-scared (another half depressed...) that I got admitted to the program but I may not be able to accept it due to my immigration status.
I was expecting her to sympathize with me, like everyone else did, saying things like, I hope it will work out, all the luck in the world etc...
And I almost cried when she started telling me that she had the exact same situation when she applied.
I mean, what are the chances? Coming across another immigrant who went through the exact same drama and didn't know if she was able to accept the offer, due to her immigration status? If this is not divine intervention, I don't know what is.
She told me that, at the time her PR was delayed as well and when she reached out to the school back in the day, they told her that she can accept the offer, enroll to the program with domestic fees and then bring her PR approval papers once they arrive (within the first year only!) So basically, the school helps out the students in this limbo who are suffering from the immigration delays...
I can't explain my relief and the happy tears that followed for some time after talking to her...
Look, I don't believe in coincidences.
I believe in fate.
and this was universe's way of telling me " help is on the way, calm down"
The universe that was really messing up with me for the past 2 years or so...
First thing as the week started, I reached out to school and confirmed that this is the case for me too and make sure I can go forward.
I hear you universe, and am grateful universe. Thank you!
If I didn't know her, I would have been still upset, until I write someone in the school after a while and explain my situation. I would not have known the exact person to reach out if it was not her. It would have take me probably double or triple amount of the time to clear things out and imagine my stress in the meantime...
I know I should stayed cool-headed and waited to reach out to school directly without spiraling into a mini-depression yet I am out of patience or self-control when it comes to immigration anymore. My tank is almost empty.
I guess I was also afraid of getting an adverse response (confirming my fear that I will not be able to enroll) and ashamed of my PR not being approved on time (as if it is something I can control)...
The moral of this story is that, aside from me being able to follow my dream, I would like to remind myself and everyone out there that the light comes at the darkest hour.
It really tests your patience, to the limits that you didn't know that even existed.
It tests your will and belief in yourself.
You must hang in there.
Also, you would never know, who you would be in a similar situation. That is why having a network is amazingly important. It is my blessing that lately I am getting surrounded more and more with like-minded, compassionate and supportive people, especially women.
I have met with the friend I mentioned above, only through LinkedIn, and she has been an amazing resource and companion on this journey. Her kindness and generosity is unparalleled. She makes me believe that, Yes this is the profession I would like to go towards, these are the people that I would like to work with and call colleagues! (no offense my scientist friends...)
I am so proud of women supporting and empowering one another. It should never be the other way. (women tearing each other apart, being their worst enemies...)
I am so glad that I knew her, and she helped me through her story of suffering.
My hope is that while you are reading this post, perhaps if you are in a similar situation, in a limbo, where you await for a miracle,
Don't lose hope.
You would never know what's next.
Most probably, help is on the way.
Hang in there. Just a little more.
If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going - Winston Churchill